In Dr. Stuart Shanker’s book, Self-Reg, he shares his research on the five developmental domains that manifest themselves when someone is not self-regulated. When we see someone appearing in a stressful behavior, we must ask “Why Now?” We must observe their physical, cognitive, social, emotional and pro-social behavior. In a child we often observe these behaviours and judge them as “bad” or “difficult.” However, research shows that these children suffer from the following symptoms: sleep troubles, crabby mornings, upset easily, volatile, inability to hear what you say, angry, sad, anxious, and fearful. These children appear to be unsuccessful and unhappy. We need to teach them to understand themselves and their extreme emotions. This can be done with empathy, mindfulness activities and education. When we offer these three, we help them become self-regulated.
