Stephen Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is one of favourite books. I especially like the Habit, “Seek First To Understand, Then to Be Understood.” His quote is so true, “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” As a guidance Counsellor I so often find that people are craving to be understood. They come into my office and start sharing their deeepest problems, worries, fears, you name it. It has been my experience that they truly just want me to listen and paraphrase what I hear. They always find the answers within themselves if I truly listen to understand. That is so true of us all. When my daughter calls and complains about something, I will often ask whether she wants advice or just to be heard. Ninety percent of the time, she just wants me to listen and to be understood. I challenge you to do so as well.
