I believe one of the mistakes parents make with their children is that they expect the same motivation works for each of their children. From the research of William Glasser, he has shared with us that we are all motivated differently depending on our greatest intensity of needs. You see, some of our children have a huge need for “Power.” The need for power is the need to be successful, to make a difference, to be accurate, right. We must help our power children to find appropriate ways to be successful by empowering others. For example, a child who wants to be first all the time, can be challenged to include someone else to be first with her. It is most rewarding to teach others to be good at what you can do.
The child with a huge need for connection, “Love & Belonging,” will strive to connect with those in her circle. If you don’t plan for these connections, you will notice your belonging children will create their own way to connect, generally not during inappropriate times. So create appropriate connection times for your children when they are successful.
You also have children who have a huge need for “Freedom” and creativity and independence. These children need choices.
Generally, if the children’s Power, Love, Freedom is met, they are having fun! And, we are all happy. If we don’t account for these unique traits, we will struggle as parents and educators. Remember, each of us was born with unique gifts! Acknowledge your children’s gifts!
